Jenna loved her team of 12 and they adored her right back. She was always positive and bringing light to their day. She’d surprise them with gifts, randomly turn on music to start a dance party and was there if they were going thru a hard time.

Thing was, Jenna found it really hard to listen to what they were saying if she didn’t think what they were saying was important. Her brain was running a mile a minute and this random detail was just not interesting. So she’d nod along, give some sort of answer and hope the employee got what they needed.

Sometimes they did, but many times they didn’t.
And Jenna was the one who ended up paying for it later.

Thousands of dollars and endless hours was used to fix those mistakes. Jenna would beat herself up and her employees would get super frustrated that they had to redo the work, especially because they communicated upfront.

Jenna told me, "I feel like a terrible boss. My team thinks I don't care about what they're saying. But I'm trying so hard to listen. I just... can't hold onto information I don't think is important in the moment."

Her therapist suggested it might be ADHD affecting her working memory. And while it was true, it wasn’t solving the problem.

Jenna wasn't an uncaring boss.
She simply had a weak thinking skill.

You see, without you even realizing it, you are using the 28 thinking skills to do any task - including holding onto information while someone is speaking to you.

When the thinking skills you need to use are strong, doing the task happens easily. When the thinking skills you need to use are weak, doing the task becomes a challenge.

In Jenna's case, the thinking skill that was getting in the way was holding two or more pieces of information at once, specifically, holding information her brain decided was "not immediately important"

Once we improved Jenna's ability to hold multiple pieces of information at once listening became a lot easier. As her brain now had the ability to hold onto the information the other person was telling her.

Holding two or more pieces of information at once is your brain's ability to keep multiple pieces of information active in your mind simultaneously.

These could be two random details about a client

This could be a few numbers for a verification code.

It could be remembering the 3 things you need from the grocery store.

It could also be listening to an employee share the full story, ask a few questions and remembering what you wanted to say.


Any time there are multiple pieces of information at time, your brain is using or trying to use the thinking skill of holding two or more pieces of information.

When holding two or more pieces of information is weak, people often find themselves interrupting because their brain is worried they might forget what they want to say.

In Jenna's case, it was even harder for her to hold on to multiple pieces of information at once when she didn't seem important. Which if you think about it, makes a lot of sense. Your brain is wired for survival, and so won't want to waste energy on what's unimportant.


Here are three exercises I did with Jenna to help her improve this thinking skill of holding onto multiple pieces of information at once.
It takes practice, but the more you do it, the easier it gets:

Exercise 1: The "Repeat It Back" Method

Jenna was upfront and told her team she wanted to get better at listening to them.

So she told them that for the next two weeks, whenever they are in a conversation, before she responds to their question or comment, she is going to repeat back what she said, what she heard. And if she doesn't do it, they should hold her accountable.

The act of repeating it back all of sudden made it “important” in her brain, making it motivating for her brain to stay focused. While it didn’t solve the problem all the way, it was Jenna’s fastest win. Especially that her team cheered her on all the way.

If you don't feel comfortable doing this with your team, then do this with your spouse or close friend. Tell them that for the next two weeks you're not going to respond without first repeating back what you heard.


Exercise 2: Give yourself 3 things to do

Every time you pull up in the driveway and are about to enter your house, give yourself three things to do. Such as drinking a cup of water, washing your hands, and answering a text.

You're going to come into the house and there are going to be distractions but don’t let that stop you from doing what you’ve given yourself to do.
You’re practicing holding on to this information as you get it done.


Exercise 3: No notes challenge

We've gotten so used to writing everything down as soon as we hear it, especially if we have a weak thinking skill of holding multiple pieces of information at once.
So I gave Jenna a NO notes challenge.

In situations that aren't super high stakes, (because I don't want you to lose money because of this!)
See if you can go without write down any notes until the end of the meeting.
Just listen to what the other person is saying.
Then at the end of the meeting, take two minutes to write down any notes that you remember from the meeting and quickly summarize it with the group.

This way you can see if you missed anything important. Plus it will be a good recap of the meeting for everyone involved.



Now if you’re thinking "But I have ADHD. My brain just can't hold onto boring information. That's how ADHD works."

I’m here to tell you that’s not ADHD works. It’s lie you’ve been feed by people who haven’t learned the skill of holding multiple pieces of information at once.
You just need to learn this skill in a way that works for YOUR brain.


A few weeks after OYB, I was speaking with Jenna when she told me how she asked a question to an employee about something they said earlier and they said "You were actually listening to all of that?"

Jenna laughed. "I was surprised too."

You too can surprise yourself. It just takes a bit of work.



Cheers to Peak Brain Performance!